WHY GIVING UP IS IMPORTANT

 WHY GIVING UP IS IMPORTANT

A lot of people say “don’t give up”. It is such an important saying and a notable feature of human personality that it is a divine practice followed by most people in their day-to-day lives. Celebrities, big corporates, politicians and practically anyone who wishes to motivate a big crowd would deliver a big speech and give the moral of the story as “don’t give up”.

But I say differently. Instead of saying “don’t give up”, I say “don’t give in to giving up”.

Read that again.

“Don’t give in to giving up!”

Let me first explain what an ‘avoidable challenge’ is. Quite frequently, every human being in his/her life takes up or is given a demanding task. It may seem difficult at first but it is for your own good. Although even if you don’t complete it, it won’t put a halt to your existence. Doing your assignments, going to the gym, learning a new skill, socializing with people, all these can be classified as avoidable challenges. For example, you are really tired from working out and wish to just stop everything and sit somewhere drinking water. That is an avoidable challenge. If you challenge yourself by saying, “No, I am going to push harder” but you don’t end up completing the challenge…It’s fine. The world is not ending. Life won’t go to waste. Sure, it is not very appropriate and looked down upon, but IT’S FINE! That is an avoidable challenge. And when one faces these kinds of challenges, one is tempted to giving in to giving up. Partly because even if you concede defeat, it won’t have a major impact on your life. Hence, in these scenarios, you do not need to introspect too much and just get it done. Don’t give up! As simple as that.

But when it comes to serious life choices, you need to think twice. Maybe even more than twice. Imagine a scenario where the next step is going to alter the course of your life forever. Imagine a road that will surely lead to failure. What are you supposed to do then? Should you still fight and continue with the “don’t give up” attitude? Or should you just leave everything behind and give up?

Let me tell you my own story. In the year 2023, I was studying in 11^th grade. I had taken up science stream and I was preparing to give the engineering entrance exams next year. One of those exams was JEE Advanced. Now this exam is considered as one of the toughest exams in the world. So much so that even if you have excelled all your school life, there is no guarantee that you’d be able to crack this exam. Some people begin preparing for this exam from 8^th grade itself. And some, even before that. I, myself, saw a 5^th grade student in one of the tutorial classes that prepare you for JEE.

But the catch is that to appear for JEE Advanced exam, you need to give a qualifying exam, JEE Mains. Qualify through Mains, get the required percentile and appear for Advanced; those were the requirements. The better the college, the harder the entrance exam. That is a fact.

And keeping that in mind, the tutorial classes that I had been going to since the start of 11^th standard, gave us monthly tests to solve. One test made with the difficulty level of JEE Mains and another one made with the difficulty level of JEE Advanced. Obviously the difficulty level of Mains was lower than Advanced.

Now the problem was that I had a very terrible performance in my Mains-level tests and it wasn’t looking very good. And naturally, my performance in Advanced tests was in dire straits. But the environment that I studied in, the kind of friends that I had, the kind of teachers that I had was a very “Don’t give up” attitude. Often, we were told success stories of people who did bad in 11^th but picked up pace in 12^th. And that is what kept me going. A pseudo-optimistic attitude that reassured my conscience that one day I would do good and get into an IIT. Quite frankly, now that I look back upon it, it was a very detrimental state of mind that I was in. And my mom and dad saw that.

One day during the summer break of 11^th grade, he took me to a park in Bandra and sat me down on a bench. He told me something that may have been a hard pill to swallow that day, but surely helped me in the future. He told me that I needed to put a halt on my dreams of getting into IIT. He just showed me the mirror. I was nowhere near excelling in JEE Mains and until and unless I did not perform well, JEE Advanced was a long way ahead. I had to bite the bullet. I had to stop focusing on Advanced and purely prepare for Mains. It was difficult to accept but it was the truth.

And so, taking my father’s advice that day, I stopped giving the JEE Advanced tests in my tutorial classes and stopped studying for that exam completely. I shifted my focus over entirely to Mains and began working on that. Soon enough I realized that even Mains was not my cup of tea. And so once again I had to shift my focus from Mains to an even lower level exam such as BITSAT and MHT CET. Of course at the end, I was able to crack MHT CET and get into one of Mumbai’s top engineering colleges. It may not have turned out as I wanted it to, but I am satisfied today with my journey.  

What I learnt along the way was that it is very important to know exactly WHEN to give up. Had I not given up Advanced that day in 2023, I would have been in an even worse situation today. I would have probably been studying in some local engineering college that just gave you a degree for the sake of it.

I am not taking any names but I saw people around me making the mistake which I avoided. I saw them unnecessarily studying for an exam which, at that point of time, was way beyond their level only to finally end up taking admission in a college they don’t even want to go to.

So, at times like these, it is very important to give up. You see the path you’re walking on and it definitely leads to failure then why would you keep walking on it? Why not switch to a path that you know, for sure, will lead you to success?

Unfortunately, our society completely looks down upon this practice and treats it as failure. Giving up is a shameful act and you are considered weak. I disagree with this. Knowing when to take a step back and having the courage to take the risk is actually a sign that you are very smart and you know how to deal with problems.

But then how should one decide when to give up and when to continue fighting? Should you admit defeat if you hit a minor setback? No. That is why I said – Don’t give in to giving up.

Giving in is different. You know you can do it, you know that if you push yourself you will succeed, yet you are giving up because the path looks arduous. No. That is not correct. Then, you are not giving up. You are giving in to giving up. You are GIVING IN to failure. Do not do that. Do not be lazy. Do not abandon your goals. Keep fighting, you will succeed. 

Finally, I will say something that may annoy you, but it is the truth. Sometimes, even if you trust your instincts and you know that you are going to succeed - you might fail. That is life. Even if you do everything right, you can still fall down. It sounds irritating, I know, but it is what it is. You can control your actions but you cannot control the result.

At the end, all I’d like to say is, keep your hopes alive. We are human beings. Our problem solving ability supersedes that of any animal on earth. You will find a way out. Have faith.